Today we had a little baby shower thrown for us at the radio station.  It was so nice of them all to do that.  We got some stuff we really needed and really appreciate.  They really are like a family to us, and a good time was had by all.  :)

 

I came home and was organizing, going through some of the stuff we received when it hit me: This is real now.  In less than 6 weeks, I'm going to have a baby.  In as soon as 4 weeks I could be holding my little boy in my arms.  This is really something I've been waiting YEARS for.  Finally my dream of becoming a mommy is coming true.

 

Put together a diaper bag full of stuff... got the feeling of what all we have and what we still need.  After I got it packed up, I realized just how small he is going to be.  I looked at those little NB diapers and realized that this little person is going to be totally dependent upon Lenny and I for his every need.  I have never been more terrified in my life.

 

Anyways, while putting all of this together and thinking about my son, I got to thinking about Lenny and I.  I realized that there is no one else in this world that I would rather start a family with.  Honestly, i think he is the only man I can imagine myself with...  Even when i was pregnant with Bubby... I didn't think of Kurt as his daddy... I thought of Bubby as all mine.  This time it's different.  Vincent is a part of me and a part of the love of my life... a part of Lenny.  He was created out of the love we have for each other and I am so thankful that I have a man in my life the I can love like that.

 

I guess I"m just overwhelmed right now.  Having this baby is making me realize just how lucky I am... what crap I was in and got out of.  Lenny is so involved, so excited to be a daddy... and I think it is making me fall in love with him even more.  I look at him and I think about all the good times we have together, all the crappy times we go through and the struggles we are facing... and I realize that no matter what, I am so in love with this guy.  No matter what... we can get through it together.

 

I love my Lenny.  Always have.  I just can't wait for our family to grow here soon.  Soon I'll feel a bit more complete... and soon I'll have my little Vincent in my arms... because he's already in my heart.  <3